Schadenfreude

Today at my local Target store, I encountered a rather strange event. Now I realize that I haven’t paid attention to Easter in a very long time, but I nearly forgot that it was tomorrow at all. I really wouldn’t have ever thought of it if it hadn’t been for the small but busy gaggle of aging glamour girls and soccer moms who still think that kids actually give a shit about Easter. I thought that by now everyone knew that kids don’t care about any holiday that doesn’t involve presents.

Now you’d think that Easter would be a much bigger deal than Christmas. After all, Christmas was only supposed to be about a birth (and we’ve all been born) while Easter was supposed to be about a resurrection and return from the dead (a pretty neat feat if anyone could actually pull it off). But since there are no gifts involved, Christians pretend to solemnly observe Easter while many spend themselves into crazy debt for at least 2 months for Christmas.

Anyway, back to the scene at Target. These women were almost as enthusiastic as Christmas shoppers, but there just weren’t as many of them. It was like the rest of the shoppers simply were raptured and no one else noticed and they just kept right on shopping.

Come one folks, don’t you have something better to do than to get silly candy for your chubby children? Just be honest, most of you don’t actually care about the holiday anyway (just like most of you don’t really care about Christmas, you just get stuff and sing nauseating songs) so just go home and spend some time with your family. They’ll probably be happier to see that than all the Peeps and colored eggs that you can scrounge out of Target. If you have to get them something, get them a book.